Metro newspaper: Rush-Hour Crush - Spoof 1

You were the tanned Brunette knickerless Brazilian on the 13:43 train from Waterloo to Egham. i was the bearded dwarf with the huge package. Our brown eyes met and I loved what I saw...anal?

The truth behind trees

I look through the trees of

The forest below me.

As the fog descends, enclosing me like

An insignificant letter in a foreign envelope,

I hear his muted voice.

The frosted glass image of my dad

Moves frame by frame into focus,

Trapped in a condensation bubble in my temple,

Like unwanted mucus.

I try to breathe; I try to run free,

I always cry like the wind through my trees.

The decrepit smiles of the oaks

Imprint on my forehead, like a fingerprint -

A giveaway to my irrelevant human identity,

Telling me who I am, and what I should be.

If I could live in the trees or just be free

From constraints, relationships and even me.

If I could see my dad for one last time,

I’d show him who I could never be.

For fear of failure and loneliness too,

I walk through my forest in search of the truth.

To answers that nobody really knows

                                                        Why are we here?

                                              Who sold you the blow?